*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*SPOILER*
Collects STAR WARS: AGE OF RESISTANCE — CAPTAIN PHASMA, GENERAL HUX, KYLO REN and SUPREME LEADER SNOKE. This is the Age of Star Wars — an epic series of adventures that unites your favorite characters from all three trilogies! The Lost Jedi is a series of 'choose your own adventure' style books published from 1993 to 1995.Written by Paul Cockburn and published by Boxtree Ltd, the books were only available in the United Kingdom.The series included two books, Jedi Dawn and The Bounty Hunter, which were both later collected in The Lost Jedi Adventure Game Book.
This review contains spoilers for The Last Jedi. You are warned.
-Nate
- There was plenty of action. Even though the film ran longer than any previous Star Wars movie, it didn't seem to lag at all.
- The script provided plenty of humor, too. Some of it seemed a little goofy, but for the most part it made a nice contrast to the drama.
- As others have mentioned, the story also provides a number of genuine surprises that helped keep it entertaining.
- I am intrigued by the scene that takes place on Canto Bight at the end of the film. That provides some potential for interesting development.
- It was cool to see Luke and Leia interacting again.
- Poe stages a mutiny that ultimately fails, but it doesn't matter, because someone else's actions render his efforts unimportant.
- Finn and Rose go on a mission to Canto Bight that ultimately fails, but it doesn't matter. Once again, some else takes care of it. Combined with the previous comment, this doesn't make the heroes of the Resistance seem very competent.
- The greatest act of heroism is committed by a character introduce in this film, and who dies in this film. That worked in Rogue One because I grew to like those characters in spite of their flaws. It doesn't work here, because for most of the movie I wasn't sure if she was really a hero.
- Two of the intriguing questions left by The Force Awakens—that of Rey's parentage and the origin of Supreme Leader Snoke—are ultimately dismissed. Snoke is dead now, and, if Kylo Ren was telling the truth, Rey's parents were scavengers who traded her for drinking money.
- Luke spends the first half of the film arguing why the Jedi Order has to end. He hesitates when it comes to burning down the tree that contains the first Jedi teachings, but Yoda's Force spirit seems to go ahead and make that happen. Even so, by the end Luke has changed his mind.
- Instead of developing one or both of the potential relationships for Finn (Rey or Poe), we add another character and have even less resolution.
- In the end, we're left in the same place we were at the end of Episode VII, so it feels like this movie didn't really add a whole lot to the story. Many people disliked George Lucas's work in the prequel trilogy, but it's hard to deny that they added meanigful developments to the story.
Mac Os Versions
Mac Os Download
Now that Star Wars: Episode XIII – The Last Jedi is out in the world for all to see, there is no shortage of opinions as to its merits, or lack thereof. Equinox (itch) mac os. The Last Jedi Nitorinc.: touhou microgames! mac os. has become another huge box office success for Disney and Lucasfilm, and an extremely well-reviewed movie by critics as well. But there's been a disturbance in the force, as the film has proven to be quite divisive among many fans of the long running epic space saga. While the Gore 4 has already posted an intelligent, well-thought out review which flows from the light side that you can check out here, there is another. This one emanates from one of us who has succumbed to the dark side. So, while the following dissertation in no way represents the feelings and ideas of the Gore 4 in general, it does reflect those of a faction of disappointed and angry fans of the Star Wars Universe. Please note, that, unlike the other review, this one is much more spoiler-laden. Proceed at your own risk, and, as always, may the force be with you.
The Last Jedi: A Review
by
Dave 'The Rave' Mele
The Last Jedi has been released to theaters. Episode 8 of the the once great Star Wars saga is before us and people should sleep in fear that such a monstrous piece of revisionist trash was ever loosed upon the cinema-going public.
The Department of Homeland Security should be contacted because Rian Johnson has committed an act of terrorism so heinous that he should be brought before a tribunal and condemned.
And I'm being generous.
The notion that its destructive tendencies should be ignored merely because it makes money is indicative of the morally wretched mentality of the shareholder model of corporate governance. Every quarter of a publicly traded company's earnings must be greater than the last, and if the past needs to be murdered to satisfy some actuarial projection, then let the poison run. The problem with the quantity over quality approach is that it's more than ready to destroy heritage and culture to commoditize the future. And the commoditization of Star Wars is in full force (har har . . . no, Jar Jar!) in The Last Jedi:
Multinational earnings are required for global revenue streams — bring in a Boring Talentless Female Asian Tech to help Finn. Politically correct, financially expedient box #1 — CHECK.
Women are the new men. So Hollywood and Jessica Chastain keep telling us (even though the all-female Ghostbusters was a bomb). A woman — Rey — is The Last Jedi. Politically correct, financially expedient box #2 — CHECK.
Veganism is the new Paleo. Make Chewbacca turn vegan because the Porgs are SO cute and react emotionally at seeing their grilled brethren eaten by the wookie. Politically correct, financially expedient box #3 — CHECK
People who like this steaming pile of filth do so because they have been so culturally down bred that they accept destruction as liberation. They're worse than Kylo Ren. Members of the fan base who accept this filth are mindless sycophants who don't have the emotional fortitude to carve out a life for themselves and who have to worship at the secular altar (i.e., the Imax screen) and feign obeisance to a false god (Star Wars, ANYTHING Star Wars). If they don't convince themselves The Last Jedi was great, then their 'god' dies, and all they have in its place is eating dollar store mac-n-cheese in their parents' basement. Millennial Trash, all of them.
Forget and discard your cultural patrimony and you open yourself up to real-life First Order scum (read 'corporate managers' and their creative lackeys, who think they're hip and 'kewl' but who, in reality, are moral trash). But Johnson and cohorts didn't forget their patrimony. They made a conscious decision to destroy it.
Let's get right down to The Great Conceit. Luke Skywalker has already experienced the greatest betrayal and the greatest redemption. Luke himself was responsible for turning his father, Darth Vader, the most evil Sith Lord in the galaxy, back to the Light Side of the Force. To believe that he would have 'lost his composure' — even for an instant — when discovering that Kylo Ren was influenced by the Dark Side is a direct violation of all that Luke Skywalker vicariously lived and learned in Episodes 4-6. Luke knows of balance and redemption firsthand. He would have been philosophical about Ren's dalliance with the dark side, certainly not reactionary. Luke — 34 years ago — was more mature and prescient when he threw his light saber at the Emperor's feet in 'Return of the Jedi,' proudly declaring: 'I'll never turn to the dark side.' It is important and significant to remember that Luke Skywalker made that declaration after learning in that epic light saber duel with his father that his hate would only make him equally as evil — clearly evidenced by Luke's facial reaction upon realizing his robotic hand was no different than Vader's (which he'd just lopped off in a fit of rage). There was no chink in Luke's moral armor then — consequently, there is no credible reason to believe he'd falter now, being an older and wiser man (and Jedi). To reiterate, Luke spared Vader's life — who was infinitely more evil than Kylo Ren (a snowflake, comparatively speaking) — but was ready to snuff out his best friend's son. Anyone who believes this nonsense is a cancer.
Luke's nonchalant tossing of his lightsaber over his shoulder when Rey presented him with this totem of mythological power during the film's opening was a symbolic indication of Johnson' glee in partaking in deicide. I can imagine Johnson's smugness as he relished writing his revisionist act of desecration. Did a member of Disney's Board pat him on the back, or did Johnson enjoy writing this vile moment without any external validation? If the latter's true then we're dealing with the creative variant of Charles Manson. Slot machine auction.
Rian Johnson's Luke Skywalker (Not THE Luke Skywalker, but an imposter) relishes milking the seaside brontosaurus, smugly chugging the creature's breast milk purposefully trying to turn Rey's stomach. Are we to accept that Luke has gone native? Is there any indication in Episodes 4-6 that Luke would lose his manners. Even Obi-Wan Kenobi as a hermit in Episode 4 was a gentlemen. Luke was not raised in the gutter and would never attempt to cruelly dissuade an adept. There's no previous textual evidence for his behavior. It was purely a despicable act of positivistic fiat ('I wrote it so it's true'). It's what selfish Rian Johnson wants. Because he wants to be the bad boy. It's so hip and 'kewl' to be the bad boy.
Consistency? Johnson has no allegiance even to his own narrative consistency (such as it is). We're to accept that Luke 'force ghosts', bi-locating to the planet at the film's climax, surviving thousands of AT-AT laser blasts, yet the same Luke 'Force ghost' can't survive a swipe from Ren's lightsaber. If Luke wasn't really present, if he was a projected Force illusion (which he was), then nothing would kill him. The laser blasts don't, yet the lightsaber swipe does. Huh? If you're going to off your mythic hero, have a little more respect for him and your own synthetic context.
The-lost-jedi Mac Os Download
Pacing. Finn and Politically Correct Boring Talentless Female Asian Tech's journey to the 'casino planet' stopped the film in it's tracks. There is no dramatic tension there. There is no compelling interest to watch. Nobody cares about them or the Dickensian gutter snipes cleaning the Star Wars horse sh*t out of the Star Wars horse stables. It's a sentiment that Robert Redford and the Sierra Club likes (very low-grade Spielberg), but it In the 1st degree mac os. . . . stops . . . the . . . movie. And not in a good way. My full bladder was more compelling than those Dickensian gutter snipes. See Billy, even though your daddy's a crack addict and you're sweeping Star Wars horse sh*t, you can be a Jedi, too. Can I? Yes, you can. Because Rian Johnson and his Sith Lord, The Walt Disney Corporation, said so. But if you become a Jedi you'll become a rude hypocrite like Luke Skywalker, so just clean your cosmic horse sh*t. Okay? Okay.
Benicio Del Toro has been channeling the quirky degenerate for quite some time now. His 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' schtick is out of place in this film. It does not belong. The firmware umbrella. It sticks out like a sore thumb and is as offensive as the large cosmic nipples on Luke's beloved seaside 'space cow.' Fortunately, Oscar Isaac is not as offensive, but his gung-ho jingoism belongs in a Transformers movie. None of the Y- and X-Wing pilots in A New Hope were so ridiculously overconfident. Looks like he's gonna' nail Rey in the next installment. Good for him. Episode 10 will be about their children. Disney shareholders will be pleased. The universe will yawn.
- There was plenty of action. Even though the film ran longer than any previous Star Wars movie, it didn't seem to lag at all.
- The script provided plenty of humor, too. Some of it seemed a little goofy, but for the most part it made a nice contrast to the drama.
- As others have mentioned, the story also provides a number of genuine surprises that helped keep it entertaining.
- I am intrigued by the scene that takes place on Canto Bight at the end of the film. That provides some potential for interesting development.
- It was cool to see Luke and Leia interacting again.
- Poe stages a mutiny that ultimately fails, but it doesn't matter, because someone else's actions render his efforts unimportant.
- Finn and Rose go on a mission to Canto Bight that ultimately fails, but it doesn't matter. Once again, some else takes care of it. Combined with the previous comment, this doesn't make the heroes of the Resistance seem very competent.
- The greatest act of heroism is committed by a character introduce in this film, and who dies in this film. That worked in Rogue One because I grew to like those characters in spite of their flaws. It doesn't work here, because for most of the movie I wasn't sure if she was really a hero.
- Two of the intriguing questions left by The Force Awakens—that of Rey's parentage and the origin of Supreme Leader Snoke—are ultimately dismissed. Snoke is dead now, and, if Kylo Ren was telling the truth, Rey's parents were scavengers who traded her for drinking money.
- Luke spends the first half of the film arguing why the Jedi Order has to end. He hesitates when it comes to burning down the tree that contains the first Jedi teachings, but Yoda's Force spirit seems to go ahead and make that happen. Even so, by the end Luke has changed his mind.
- Instead of developing one or both of the potential relationships for Finn (Rey or Poe), we add another character and have even less resolution.
- In the end, we're left in the same place we were at the end of Episode VII, so it feels like this movie didn't really add a whole lot to the story. Many people disliked George Lucas's work in the prequel trilogy, but it's hard to deny that they added meanigful developments to the story.
Mac Os Versions
Mac Os Download
Now that Star Wars: Episode XIII – The Last Jedi is out in the world for all to see, there is no shortage of opinions as to its merits, or lack thereof. Equinox (itch) mac os. The Last Jedi Nitorinc.: touhou microgames! mac os. has become another huge box office success for Disney and Lucasfilm, and an extremely well-reviewed movie by critics as well. But there's been a disturbance in the force, as the film has proven to be quite divisive among many fans of the long running epic space saga. While the Gore 4 has already posted an intelligent, well-thought out review which flows from the light side that you can check out here, there is another. This one emanates from one of us who has succumbed to the dark side. So, while the following dissertation in no way represents the feelings and ideas of the Gore 4 in general, it does reflect those of a faction of disappointed and angry fans of the Star Wars Universe. Please note, that, unlike the other review, this one is much more spoiler-laden. Proceed at your own risk, and, as always, may the force be with you.
The Last Jedi: A Review
by
Dave 'The Rave' Mele
The Last Jedi has been released to theaters. Episode 8 of the the once great Star Wars saga is before us and people should sleep in fear that such a monstrous piece of revisionist trash was ever loosed upon the cinema-going public.
The Department of Homeland Security should be contacted because Rian Johnson has committed an act of terrorism so heinous that he should be brought before a tribunal and condemned.
And I'm being generous.
The notion that its destructive tendencies should be ignored merely because it makes money is indicative of the morally wretched mentality of the shareholder model of corporate governance. Every quarter of a publicly traded company's earnings must be greater than the last, and if the past needs to be murdered to satisfy some actuarial projection, then let the poison run. The problem with the quantity over quality approach is that it's more than ready to destroy heritage and culture to commoditize the future. And the commoditization of Star Wars is in full force (har har . . . no, Jar Jar!) in The Last Jedi:
Multinational earnings are required for global revenue streams — bring in a Boring Talentless Female Asian Tech to help Finn. Politically correct, financially expedient box #1 — CHECK.
Women are the new men. So Hollywood and Jessica Chastain keep telling us (even though the all-female Ghostbusters was a bomb). A woman — Rey — is The Last Jedi. Politically correct, financially expedient box #2 — CHECK.
Veganism is the new Paleo. Make Chewbacca turn vegan because the Porgs are SO cute and react emotionally at seeing their grilled brethren eaten by the wookie. Politically correct, financially expedient box #3 — CHECK
People who like this steaming pile of filth do so because they have been so culturally down bred that they accept destruction as liberation. They're worse than Kylo Ren. Members of the fan base who accept this filth are mindless sycophants who don't have the emotional fortitude to carve out a life for themselves and who have to worship at the secular altar (i.e., the Imax screen) and feign obeisance to a false god (Star Wars, ANYTHING Star Wars). If they don't convince themselves The Last Jedi was great, then their 'god' dies, and all they have in its place is eating dollar store mac-n-cheese in their parents' basement. Millennial Trash, all of them.
Forget and discard your cultural patrimony and you open yourself up to real-life First Order scum (read 'corporate managers' and their creative lackeys, who think they're hip and 'kewl' but who, in reality, are moral trash). But Johnson and cohorts didn't forget their patrimony. They made a conscious decision to destroy it.
Let's get right down to The Great Conceit. Luke Skywalker has already experienced the greatest betrayal and the greatest redemption. Luke himself was responsible for turning his father, Darth Vader, the most evil Sith Lord in the galaxy, back to the Light Side of the Force. To believe that he would have 'lost his composure' — even for an instant — when discovering that Kylo Ren was influenced by the Dark Side is a direct violation of all that Luke Skywalker vicariously lived and learned in Episodes 4-6. Luke knows of balance and redemption firsthand. He would have been philosophical about Ren's dalliance with the dark side, certainly not reactionary. Luke — 34 years ago — was more mature and prescient when he threw his light saber at the Emperor's feet in 'Return of the Jedi,' proudly declaring: 'I'll never turn to the dark side.' It is important and significant to remember that Luke Skywalker made that declaration after learning in that epic light saber duel with his father that his hate would only make him equally as evil — clearly evidenced by Luke's facial reaction upon realizing his robotic hand was no different than Vader's (which he'd just lopped off in a fit of rage). There was no chink in Luke's moral armor then — consequently, there is no credible reason to believe he'd falter now, being an older and wiser man (and Jedi). To reiterate, Luke spared Vader's life — who was infinitely more evil than Kylo Ren (a snowflake, comparatively speaking) — but was ready to snuff out his best friend's son. Anyone who believes this nonsense is a cancer.
Luke's nonchalant tossing of his lightsaber over his shoulder when Rey presented him with this totem of mythological power during the film's opening was a symbolic indication of Johnson' glee in partaking in deicide. I can imagine Johnson's smugness as he relished writing his revisionist act of desecration. Did a member of Disney's Board pat him on the back, or did Johnson enjoy writing this vile moment without any external validation? If the latter's true then we're dealing with the creative variant of Charles Manson. Slot machine auction.
Rian Johnson's Luke Skywalker (Not THE Luke Skywalker, but an imposter) relishes milking the seaside brontosaurus, smugly chugging the creature's breast milk purposefully trying to turn Rey's stomach. Are we to accept that Luke has gone native? Is there any indication in Episodes 4-6 that Luke would lose his manners. Even Obi-Wan Kenobi as a hermit in Episode 4 was a gentlemen. Luke was not raised in the gutter and would never attempt to cruelly dissuade an adept. There's no previous textual evidence for his behavior. It was purely a despicable act of positivistic fiat ('I wrote it so it's true'). It's what selfish Rian Johnson wants. Because he wants to be the bad boy. It's so hip and 'kewl' to be the bad boy.
Consistency? Johnson has no allegiance even to his own narrative consistency (such as it is). We're to accept that Luke 'force ghosts', bi-locating to the planet at the film's climax, surviving thousands of AT-AT laser blasts, yet the same Luke 'Force ghost' can't survive a swipe from Ren's lightsaber. If Luke wasn't really present, if he was a projected Force illusion (which he was), then nothing would kill him. The laser blasts don't, yet the lightsaber swipe does. Huh? If you're going to off your mythic hero, have a little more respect for him and your own synthetic context.
The-lost-jedi Mac Os Download
Pacing. Finn and Politically Correct Boring Talentless Female Asian Tech's journey to the 'casino planet' stopped the film in it's tracks. There is no dramatic tension there. There is no compelling interest to watch. Nobody cares about them or the Dickensian gutter snipes cleaning the Star Wars horse sh*t out of the Star Wars horse stables. It's a sentiment that Robert Redford and the Sierra Club likes (very low-grade Spielberg), but it In the 1st degree mac os. . . . stops . . . the . . . movie. And not in a good way. My full bladder was more compelling than those Dickensian gutter snipes. See Billy, even though your daddy's a crack addict and you're sweeping Star Wars horse sh*t, you can be a Jedi, too. Can I? Yes, you can. Because Rian Johnson and his Sith Lord, The Walt Disney Corporation, said so. But if you become a Jedi you'll become a rude hypocrite like Luke Skywalker, so just clean your cosmic horse sh*t. Okay? Okay.
Benicio Del Toro has been channeling the quirky degenerate for quite some time now. His 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' schtick is out of place in this film. It does not belong. The firmware umbrella. It sticks out like a sore thumb and is as offensive as the large cosmic nipples on Luke's beloved seaside 'space cow.' Fortunately, Oscar Isaac is not as offensive, but his gung-ho jingoism belongs in a Transformers movie. None of the Y- and X-Wing pilots in A New Hope were so ridiculously overconfident. Looks like he's gonna' nail Rey in the next installment. Good for him. Episode 10 will be about their children. Disney shareholders will be pleased. The universe will yawn.
Domhnall Gleeson gets the John Cleese award for the most over-the-top acting in a crappy film. Gleeson's a better actor than the film lets him be which tells me that it was Johnson's decision to have Gleeson act like a buffoon from a bad Benny Hill sketch. This only reduces the narrative power of The First Order as a credible threat. Peter Cushing's reputation is in no danger.
Poor Carrie Fisher . . . having to carry the burden of being Zak Snyder's Superman in the cold emptiness of space. Carrie's Glenda the Good Witch/Wizard of Oz moment is more out of place than Godzilla propelling himself like a rocket with his atomic breath in Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster. It is so jarring, so incongruous, and so surreal that it makes Johnson's incompetence with the material very obvious very early on.
The film never recovers. If you want to kill God — if you want to kill your moral order — you have to prepare yourself for chaos and deterioration.
That's all The Last Jedi offers. Who would have thought that any movie would have made Return of the Jedi age like a fine wine? When the Ewoks start smelling like roses (and they do now thanks to Rian Johnson), you know that something is really rotten in Denmark (or Tatooine, if you're so inclined). Perhaps it's significant that Luke spends every cutaway climbing stone steps away from Rey. The camera doesn't lie: Mark Hamill wished he could walk away from this abomination.
RIP Luke Skywalker — and all that you stood for.
— critique by
The-lost-jedi Mac Os Catalina
Dave 'The Rave' Mele
